19. NEM QUE A VACA TUSSA

We’re back with the cow! I did tell you it was present in a lot of expressions, right? And if you bet that the expression had nothing to do with the cow, you’re getting good at this.

The literal translation of this one: “not even if the cow coughs”. Am I right? This seems to be the craziest one so far, I mean, it seems impossible – although apparently bovine animals do cough and sneeze in their own way –, and I think that’s exactly the point.

What the expression actually means? Not in a million years!

You know that situation when your youngest and most reckless brother wants to borrow your car? (Not applied to me, I don’t drive and my brother knows better than asking to borrow my stuff). That request you wouldn’t do in sane state of mind? That situation where a no isn’t enough to express how outraged you are? That’s the situation to let out: “nem que a vaca tussa!” I mean, a cow could cough and not even then you would allow him to have your car.

The original complete sentence is “nem que a vaca tussa e o boi espirre”, which means “not even if the cow coughs and the ox sneezes”. Tell me about adding some hindering factors for this.

And since there are people in the field claiming that cows and oxen do cough and sneeze, the expression might have been founded on a mistake.

Despite that, the saying is still used, and a lot, every time someone wants to make sure their interlocutor are aware that there’s no way the thing being discussed is going to happen.

There are other several ways of encapsulating this same feeling both in Portuguese and English, check this:

• de jeito nenhum

• nem a pau

• nem fodendo (contains cursing)

• nem pensar

• when pigs fly

• no way, José

• no snowball’s chance in hell

• never in a month of Sundays

Seems like English language is full of saying as well.

And a curiosity: The cartoon movie “Home on the range” had its tittle translated as “Nem que a vaca tussa” in Brazil.

Now, dear foreign, I hope you don’t stop coming here to check new expressions daily, not even if the cow coughs. And the ox sneezes. Cause this project isn’t going anywhere.

Till tomorrow,

expressionada